How to Survive Your Murder by Danielle Valentine
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Scare Factor: 💀💀💀| Plot: 📕📕📕📕| Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Length: 09:38:43 | Genre: YA Horror | POV: First



🕊️ ➞ Tropes:

🕵🏻Whodunit🕵🏻
❓👤Red Herring 👤❓
🚫Trust No One 🚫
🩸Gruesome 🩸
👩🏻 Final Girl Vibes 👩🏻
👻No One’s Safe 👻
🔪🩸Slasher 🩸🔪
👤👺Hooded / Masked Killer 👺👤
⏳Time Travel ⏳
👹😵‍💫Crazed Motive😵‍💫👹


✴✴✴ TW: Murder, Substance Abuse, Underage Drinking ✴✴✴


🕊️ ➞ Progress Notes & Initial Thoughts:

Happy Death Day meets every 90s Slasher!

(33%) It was either Wes or X. That’s my current guess.

(39%) Hmm… I think Claire might’ve been the k!ller… makes sense as to why Owen would’ve stabbed her after she stabbed him. That or Claire was confused. The anticipation is k!lling me.

(48%) K!ller wearing the same mask as X?? Is this a red herring? Or is it a legitimate clue?



Also, not me rewinding the audiobook because I fell asleep and missed 6 hours of it. UGH.

(55%) And here we are with the possible motive….



Clair isn’t looking so good right now. Neither does their father…



There’s most definitely room for a revenge killing in this plot. Is Claire behind this? Did she plan to frame Owen with the manifesto for the killings of her father’s victims? Or was it their father who wanted to save his marriage/family so he killed off his affairs in an effort to get a clean slate? Hopefully, we’ll know soon!

(60%) I’m sorry…



WHAT??!!

THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS?!!

(75%) A high school student, sir? STRAIGHT TO JAIL!

Also… 🚨Motive Alert 🚨

(80%) So Daddy dearest was definitely a p*edoph*le… GAG

(96%) That sneaky little b!tch!

(98%)



(99%) B!tches be crazy….

(100%) What the HELL was that ending??!! Open-ended endings will be the death of me.



🕊️ ➞ Plot Breakdown & Commentary:


How To Survive Your Murder started a year into the past on Halloween night when Alice’s older sister, Claire, was brutally m*rdered in front of her. Back in the present, Alice was dealing with the trial of her sister’s m*rderer as well as his groupies who insisted that Owen was innocent of any crime. Some of those people? Her former best friends, Millie and X, incited the conspiracy and began a podcast where they argued over Owen’s innocence for clout.



Forced to attend school that day by her teacher, who threatened to fail her if she wasn’t there in person, Alice encountered a Sidney Prescott lookalike who bumped into her.



Later on at the courthouse, Sidney appeared again in the bathroom and claimed that Owen was innocent. Enraged, Alice argued with her and Sidney did some bippity-boppity-boo stuff and sent Alice back in time to the night of the murder.



Having been the slasher fanatic she was, Alice caught on very quickly as to what was going on. In hopes of saving her sister’s life, Alice tried desperately to stick by Claire’s side as they both attended the Halloween party that ended Claire’s life. Since Alice was now with Claire in this timeline, her sister survived any attack and never had a run-in with Owen in the cornfield. Although, Chloe didn’t survive her attack in this timeline; Owen carved her up with a chainsaw.

In the original timeline – after the killings – a manifesto, allegedly written by Owen, was found shortly after his arrest and was filled with misogynistic ramblings as well as a kill list of teenage girls he hated. Chloe was on that list, along with 3 or 4 other girls. Without revealing too much to not sound crazy, Alice raced to save Erin who was supposed to be Owen’s next victim.

After Claire insisted on splitting up and left Alice with no choice, Alice encountered Sidney again who explained everything. Sidney, who they decide to just call Final Girl, was an angel sent to right a wrong and restore balance. She sent Alice back in time to learn the truth about that night and insinuated that Owen was not the killer. Now it was up to Alice to figure out who was truly behind the murders that Halloween night. Sidney also went on to state the rules; Alice has until midnight to figure everything out or else she must return to her timeline; if she can figure it out before midnight, the new timeline would become a reality (this gave her the chance to save her sister); the most important rule was that Alice can die in this reality, no do-overs. Sidney also explained why she looked like the famous final girl, it was because of Alice’s love for slashers. That’s it. I kind of love that.

Heading to Erin’s house, Alice tried desperately to get her attention from outside the girl’s window but she was unsuccessful before someone in a werewolf mask, one that X had been wearing earlier, bashed Erin’s head in with a golf club.



After making eye contact with the masked k!ller, Alice booked it and ran for her life.



While running, she ran into Wes before calling 911 to report the murder. As not to be suspicious, they left the scene and tried to locate Claire. Realizing that she was headed back to Erin’s house, Alice kept calling Claire until she picked up to tell her to head back to their house. The connection dropped and the audio was spotty so there was a possibility of miscommunication.

Wes and Alice headed back to her house to check if Claire beat her there, but she didn’t. When Alice entered the house, she heard her parents yelling and her father’s infidelity came out. Alice’s father was a coach at the college and the argument insinuated that he slept with his students.

Claire caught up with Wes and Alice at a cafe and she was very displeased with being there. Claire pulled Alice aside and claimed that Wes was untrustworthy as Owen was Wes’s best friend. WHAT? PLOT TWIST



Alice began to question Wes’s innocence as she realized the convenience of him “living nearby” in Erin’s gated community. Seeing Final Girl at the cafe, the angel gave Alice a clue and showed her that Owen was in custody. Meaning he couldn’t have been the k!ller. Alice took a moment to mourn her mistake before she began admittedly believing that Wes was the k!ller. This might be another red herring, but I’m enthralled.



Fully believing that Wes was the k!ller, Alice, Claire, and X all jumped in the car and left Wes to die. The group tracked Sierra to a party and decided to stay there as it was crowded. Most of the partygoers were still under the impression that Chloe faked her death as an elaborate prank and that Alice was a part of it; it wasn’t until the cops crashed the party and informed them of the incident did any of them realized it wasn’t a prank.

While the guests began filing out, Alice met with Wes and discovered that all the girls that were listed on the manifesto were her father’s victims. This discovery exonerated Wes in Alice’s eyes but shattered her heart because it meant that her father was the killer.

When Wes left and Alice returned inside, she discovered Millie’s body. Millie had been stabbed to death. Going into emotional shock, Alice checked through the house and eventually found Eli’s body. Eli had been stabbed in the heart with the missing butcher knife. Alice found Sierra hiding in the basement and hid with her as they both listened as the k!ller searched room to room for Sierra. Escaping through the cellar door, the girls ran for the backyard and bumped into Wes who was then stabbed through the back and killed.

Whelp, guess he didn’t do it…



Terrified, Alice and Sierra found solace in Claire’s bashed-in car. Alice concluded that her lesson to be learned was that by sacrificing her sister’s life, she’d save all these people. Alice called out for Final Girl and the angel appeared. When Alice asked to be returned to her previous timeline, the angel refused. Final Girl revealed that she was an Angel of Death and only sent Alice here so that she could save Claire, alter the timeline, and collect all the souls of the k!ller’s victims. I mean, she does have a quota to fulfill.



What a conniving, evil being!

Final Girl left Alice with a final clue before she disappeared. On the car’s floorboards was Owen’s library card with his login information written on the back. This was key evidence for the trial back in the original timeline. Realizing who the real culprit was, the k!ller found them and slashed Sierra right in front of Alice. The k!ller removed the werewolf mask and revealed themselves to be none other than Claire.



Claire revealed that her motive was doing all this to save their dad, his reputation, and their family. ✨ D e l u s i o n a l ✨She also went on and said that since she couldn’t make it as an actress playing a final girl, she would make it by ✨ b e i n g ✨a final girl.



Alice sacrificed herself by stabbing herself hoping to return to her own timeline and erase the deaths of her friends. She blacked out and woke up back in the courthouse, a year later. She filed into the courtroom as the trial began and the judge read off Owen’s charges. Except, the judge didn’t say Claire’s name. They said all the names of her friends who died in the altered timeline. As that realization sunk in, Claire sat down next to her and feigned concern.

Then the novel ended. It f*cking ENDED.





🕊️ ➞ Closing Thoughts:

How To Survive Your Murder has become one of my top favorite slasher novels yet! I ADORE the homage to 90s slashers!! Riddled with references and easter eggs, the plot leaves you at the edge of your seat with anticipation as Valentine feeds you scraps before the main course. And you’ll love every torturous minute of it!

If you love 90s slashers, Happy Death Day, and plots with so many twists (including time travel) then look no further! This is the book for you! This one is a 10/5 recommend! Give it a read and then leave a comment! Would love to chat about this!


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